The “Hoosier No”
Today, I’d like to add a new phrase to your vocabulary. Meet the “Hoosier No.”
You don’t have to be a Hoosier to have experienced the Hoosier No. If you’ve ever worked in sales, you’ve probably experienced it. Similarly, if anyone has ever asked you to call him and then ignored your calls, you too have experienced the Hoosier No.
I can’t recall where I first heard this expression, so I can’t credit the person who coined it. The phrase implies that Hoosiers don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings, so rather than turn down a request by saying “no,” they go silent and hope that their silence will make even the most persistent among us give up and go away.
I’ve concluded there are three reasons why people use the Hoosier No to turn someone down:
1. They lack assertiveness and this makes it difficult to say no. Assertiveness occupies the midpoint on a continuum between passive and aggressive.
It is one of the competencies of an emotionally intelligent leader and people who lack assertiveness will struggle in any profession. Low assertiveness makes it difficult to tell someone “no.”
2. Conflict makes them uncomfortable.
Some people are conflict averse; they will avoid any encounter that feels like conflict, including encounters where they feel they will disappoint someone by saying no. Caller ID is a conflict avoider’s best friend.
3. They’re too embarrassed to explain the real reason why they’re saying no.
People in this category usually lack the authority to say yes and rather than admit it, they just ignore you when you follow up.
Few things piss me off like the Hoosier No. Inspired by Angie’s List, I’ve fanaticized about creating Mike’s List, where people could rate clients and prospective clients. There would be a special section on Mike’s List where you could post the names of people and companies who use the Hoosier No. In my war on the Hoosier No, I might also post billboards around town and list the names of people who’ve given members of Mike’s List the Hoosier No. I might also put their likeness on milk cartons, replacing the missing kids found there now. Can you picture it? Imagine rows of milk cartons in the refrigerator section of the grocery—whole milk, 2% and skim milk—all containing black and white photos of people who can’t say no.
You can’t be an effective leader if you use the Hoosier No.
Retreating and avoiding a conversation tells people that you don’t follow through on promises. You’re all talk and no game, and it’s ok for everyone around you to do the same.
If you’re inclined to use the Hoosier No, you need to break the habit starting right now.
It’s time to break those mental boundaries that hold you captive. It’s about being emotionally self-aware of when and why you use the Hoosier No and having the courage to overcome the urge to use it. Every time you say “no” rather than retreat into silence, it gets easier and easier to do so.