Dumb Meeting Quotes

When I had a real job, one of my hobbies was capturing the astounding things people said in meetings. It’s what I did to amuse myself. Here’s the list:

• “Who should I carbonize on this memo?”
• “If I could make a comment on that, I’d like to make one point about that other point he had, and then I’ll say my say.”
• “I don’t want to get dragged into a guttural discussion.”
• “We’re babbling about a motion that could be mute.”
• “Let me finish; don’t get like me.”
• “The future looks rosy; we better gloat while the gloating is good.”
• “Clarify me if I’m wrong…”
• “Well, that was just a ball club figure.”
• “If these things continue, we’ll have to have a finger pointing.”
• “What’s logical isn’t always what makes sense.”
• “That issue is a two-headed sword.” “What I wrote down isn’t what I was saying.”
• “You can interrupt me after I’m finished.”
• “I know he’s got all the tools, but will he dig?”
• “The trouble with this meeting is that it keeps not starting.”
• “I’m just not thinking on all fours.”
• “I’ve been to the committee meetings on many occasions; I may not have been listening, but I sure was talking.”
• “Gentlemen, I can safely say that today, we can see the light at the end of the shaft.”
• “We’re just arguing ceramics.”