RIP Joe

One of my fraternity brothers died on Christmas day. I had seen Joe only a half dozen times since I graduated from college more than four decades ago, but his devotion to the success of our fraternity benefitted me and scores of other young men. That’s what motivated this blog.

This isn’t just an in memoriam of Joe; there’s a leadership lesson in his tenacity and commitment to the success of our fraternity that’s worth sharing.

Joe came to my alma mater for graduate school after earning his bachelor’s degree at the University of Illinois. He didn’t pledge a fraternity as an undergrad. He was an odd duck, and it’s unlikely that any fraternity would have offered him a bid if he had gone through rush. While in graduate school at Northern Illinois University, he became friends with a half dozen undergraduates and helped found a local fraternity. Five years later, that local group affiliated with Delta Upsilon, a social fraternity founded in 1834, and Joe was initiated as a charter member of the NIU chapter.

I met Joe a few years later when I went through rush. He was in his mid-30s and totally dedicated to building a great DU chapter by investing his time in recruiting high-quality young men to pledge. The irony was that he had worn out his welcome with the brothers. He stubbornly stayed involved despite the cold shoulder he received, playing a major role in recruiting strong pledge classes.

By the time the pledge period ended, Joe had worn out his welcome with the newly initiated brothers and they ignored Joe just as their older brothers did. I was as guilty as everyone else; I avoided Joe and referred to him by one of the five or six mean-spirited nicknames he’d been given over the years. What’s more, I mellowed very little in the years after I graduated.

It was only in the last decade that I came to appreciate the impact that Joe had on two generations of young men.

Without Joe, there might never have been a successful DU chapter at NIU. The hundreds of members who matured and created lifelong friendships in that fraternity house might have missed the opportunity had it not been for him.

This blog contains words that are decades out of date on college campuses, words like rush, bid and pledge. What’s not outdated are the lessons Joe taught. He demonstrated what someone who is caused by his cause can accomplish.

He would not be rebuffed even when the brothers failed to offer encouragement or say thank you for his efforts. He had found his mission, his purpose in life, and he would not be deterred by our indifference and our sarcasm. As a result, a thousand young men benefitted from his dedication over a span of 50 years. No other member has had as an impact on the brotherhood as great as Joe.

Thanks Joe and rest in peace.