Think You’re Talented? Who Knows Best?
Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries is the executive coach I admire most. He’s a highly successful executive coach and a really smart guy. In addition to having an MBA and DBA from Harvard, he’s a certified psychoanalyst and the Distinguished Clinical Professor of Leadership Development and Organizational Change at INSEAD, the international business school in Fontainebleau, France. He’s also founder of INSEAD’s Global Leadership Centre.
One of his interests is group dynamics and developing executive leadership teams, and because I do most of my executive coaching in groups rather than in one-to-ones, I started reading books and articles he’s written and edited. His insight has helped me up my game in facilitating my three executive peer groups.
Most of Kets de Vries’ coaching is done in groups. He first drew my attention when he wrote:
“Although one-on-one coaching currently has the center stage, my experience has shown that leadership coaching in a group setting has the highest payoff: high performance organizations; results-oriented and accountable people; boundary-less organizations; and true knowledge management.”
Last week, I watched an interview with Kets de Vries that discussed star performers. He was asked, “What do you use to spot a star performer?” His reply was interesting; he said three things I won’t forget:
- “People at the top who have to pick out the star performers make mistakes; they think those are star performers while they actually might be quite unpleasant individuals.”
- “The people who notice quickly are the people under them. The ones you have to talk to are the people at lower levels. That’s the reason for the popularity of 360s, to give some reflection of how the people really are.”
- “We are fantastic at self-delusion. … We have to be very careful that we don’t delude ourselves. Too many people who think they are great really are the pits.”
Kets de Vries is the reason that I often use the MHS EQ 360 in my coaching. It’s a terrific tool to get input on one’s performance from the boss, peers, direct reports and even family and close friends. Nothing gets a coachee’s attention faster than seeing negative feedback from these groups, especially family and friends.
His point-of-view about the importance of feedback from direct reports is echoed by another leader I admire, Robert Steven Kaplan.
In his Harvard Business Review article, “What to Ask the Person in the Mirror,” and in this video and this one as well, Kaplan tells us that:
“Figuring out your strengths and weaknesses is not something you can do by yourself. You need feedback from people who see you in action and can point out to you what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. … You need to be open to hearing things you don’t want to hear.”
If you’re a golfer, you know the importance of a good back swing. You also know that when hitting a golf ball, you must keep your head down and your eyes on the ball. Consequently, you never get to see your back swing. That’s the value of working with a pro to improve your swing. Likewise, we can’t become better leaders if we don’t get feedback on how we interact with our direct reports. That’s the value of a 360, or working with an executive coach one on one or in a group.
Feedback is critical to our success whether at work, on the golf course or any other venue. The feedback you get from the golf pro may not make you feel as uncomfortable as the feedback you get from those who work for you, but if you act on that feedback, it can improve your leadership game as dramatically as an improved golf swing can improve your golf game.