What’s an Accountability Partner and Who Needs One?

This past summer, I met a smart, talented young woman with a strong motivation to improve as a leader. She works for a company that has invested in an ongoing, formal training program. She told me that she was pleased with the program and yet struggled to keep what she learned top of mind and put it into practice without a coach to push her and hold her accountable. I asked if she had considered working with an accountability partner and she confessed that she had never heard this term before.

When leaders become isolated, they stumble and stagnate; they become risk averse. They fail to seize opportunities, try new things or face gnarly issues.

That’s why executive coaches are in demand; they help leaders avoid these pitfalls. If you can’t afford an executive coach or haven’t reached that point in your career when your company pays for one, an accountability partner can fill the bill; they are everyman’s coach.

Working with an accountability partner is a two-way street where the participants commit to collaborate, share goals, disclose their challenges and hold each other accountable to take risks and make changes. Each partner gives as well as they get.

I’ve worked with my accountability partner for more than a decade; I’ve even blogged about it. I first learned of the concept from Bryan Neale. He’s been a member of one of my leadership peer groups since 2004 and he’s had an accountability partner even longer. My partner and I meet eight times a year, at the start of each quarter and again midway through the quarter. We share our goals and our progress on achieving those goals. We confront each other when we let important things fall through the cracks and hold each other accountable for the commitments we make.

Accountability partnerships are built on four cornerstones:

1. The first is confidentiality. Where you meet with your accountability partner is a mini Las Vegas — what’s said there stays there.

2. The second is mutual respect. You don’t have to like them or want to be their friend. You just have to respect them enough to listen to their point-of-view.

3. The third is inquisitiveness. An effective partner will ask questions rather than tell you what he or she thinks you should do. They avoid accusatory questions that begin with the word why and they are active listeners.

4. The last cornerstone is mutual trust. Partners must feel safe enough to self-disclose, to discuss not just the good stuff but those really gnarly issues we all wrestle with.

Have I piqued your curiosity? Are you interested in finding an accountability partner? If so, start the selection process by answering these four questions:

• Do you know someone who is goal oriented and passionate about improving his or her performance?
• Who do you trust enough to discuss the real stuff going in your work life, the stuff that keeps you awake at night?
• Who do you know who is a straight shooter, who cares enough to tell you things you might not want to hear?
• Do you know someone with a good bullshit detector? When they hear an excuse, are they willing to call you on it?

Thanks to the time I invest working with my accountability partner, things get done faster and the important stuff doesn’t fall through the cracks because he’s there to hold me accountable. Just discussing my important issues and opportunities out loud creates clarity.

All it costs to work with a partner is your time. Why not take the plunge and try it for three months?