Why Not Name a Building for Me?

Café Hayek is the one blog that I read every day. It’s written by Don Boudreaux and Russ Roberts, two professors of economics at George Mason University. In late February, they sited a blog and wrote a post about the preposterousness of naming public buildings, memorials and parks for politicians. This struck a chord with me.

In my thoroughly biased opinion, there is no class of worker in America as unproductive as the political class. I bristle when I hear politicians referred to as “public servants,” when much of the time they spend on the job is dedicated to getting themselves reelected to positions where there is little accountability, too many perks and too much power. As I see it, many — if not most — politicians are simply high-class welfare recipients.

The low approval rating of members of Congress tells me that I’m not alone in my opinion. And yet the political class continues to massage their collective egos by naming public properties in their honor. It’s gotten so bad in Indiana that buildings are being named for politicians before they die or retire from office. What could be more narcissistic than using taxpayer dollars to buy personal notoriety?

I’d much prefer to see public buildings and spaces named for people who actually did something with their lives.

People who worked to create jobs, save lives and make the world better place. People who did more with their time, energy and talents than get elected over and over again. My list of candidates includes entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, humanitarians such as Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr. and Nobel Prize winners.

Norman Borlang was the agricultural scientist who is called the “father of the Green Revolution” and is credited with saving billions of lives by increasing food production in Asia and Africa with high-yield, pest-resistant wheat. The Nobel Peace Prize winner may not be as well known as most mediocre members of Congress, but he sure as hell deserves to have his name on a building or two.

I want to make a statement about the hypocrisy of the political class, so in the spirit of Oscar Wilde, I’ve decided to start a campaign to have a government building named for me.

Here are three reasons why I’m a better candidate than most pols:

1. I’ve never taken a dime of government money i.e., your tax dollars.
2. I’ve never made a campaign contribution or utilized the services of a lobbyist to create legislation that favored me and distorted the market.
3. Unlike the political class, my work has created new jobs, increased the tax base and grown GDP.

You can help my campaign by contacting your congressman or congresswoman and telling him or her that you want a building named for Mike Donahue. When they ask, “Who’s he?” tell them, “He’s just an ordinary citizen who, by being ordinary, does more to grow the economy and create jobs than you and all your cronies on both sides of the political divide do.”

Thanks for helping me. When I get my name on a building, I’ll be sure to invite you to the ribbon cutting.